Where am I?

On December 11-th 2019, the packers put 70% of our things into the cartons and late in the evening, parted taking things to storage, leaving the Heidelberg home empty. I am now sitting in my next home in Bangalore, that is empty, waiting for those things to reach here.

In between, I came to India, attended my cousin’s very special wedding,

travelled in Philippines for a week transiting in Hongkong where thermometers recorded our temperature even before Corona was known in the world,

took the ship from Singapore to Brazil where our travel got featured in the Paranagua port website and where we touched land for the first time after weeks at Navegantes where the ship docked again a couple of days back,

got off at Montevideo (where the ship is expected to reach today) where I met Adrian – my only Uruguayan friend and spent rest of the time saying goodbye to CMA CGM Rodolphe,

travelled in Salta-Cachi-Cafayatte – a very special trip with friends made on the ship,

fell sick with stomach problems in Buenos Aires robbing me of my second chance to see Buenos Aires

and reached Germany on February 23-rd.

In Germany, after arranging for a buyer for my apartment, we left for India on March 7-th with 4 suitcases to celebrate the milestone wedding anniversary of our in laws, intending to come back in 2 weeks mid of March to complete the sale of our apartment. I left my camera at home in Heidelberg for the first time thinking I will be back in 2 weeks and I would give it that short holiday.

What we had not reckoned with was what Coronavirus would do to our plans and dreams.

It had always been my plan to move back to India. In recent years, a lot of friends and family had lost faith in the plan – especially after we bought our apartment in Heidelberg and then took our German citizenship. “No one who bought a home left the place” they said. I had the precedence of my father who bought a place, and then moved to another country. I did not believe anyone who told me I would not move back.

After we had decided to move back to India, I had dreamt of many things I would do in India when we moved back.

• Every other morning, I would go to the temple. Hence, it was important to have a temple close to my home or office. I found a home with 5+ temples within 10 minutes walking distance
  • Today I saw a painter painting the locked gates of one of those temples – all temples are indefinitely closed.
• Early morning, my help would ring the bell at 5:30 in the morning and wake me up. I would open the door for her, collect my milk and newspaper. While she starts cleaning, I make my coffee and sip it while reading newspaper.
  • No house help comes in Bangalore at 5:30 am – at least not in the areas I know of. I remember Vennila, my help at the time in 1999 and 2000 before I moved to Germany, waking me up that early. I now rely on my body clock. We do not get newspapers at the moment – we decided we will stay with epapers until safer times
• I would drive to the two family temples – interstate long distance drives, stopping to visit family members from distant branches of the family tree
  • Corona stopped long distance driving for the time being. We now go from our one home to the other home and back stopping to pick up only essentials on the way and that too in the least crowded shops.
• I would meet my cousins and friends on and off
  • We look fearfully, speak in muffled voices behind masks, stand in four corners and look suspiciously at hands extended to us. Never mind we share part of the genes.
• I would immediately go and visit my ageing uncles, aunts, professors, teachers all in their surroundings
  • As I exchange news over WhatsApp, I look back at my promises “Dear Uncle, I will see you in March”…
  • I think of my aspirations to drive to Ooty to see my favourite school…
  • I look out of the balcony of my Bangalore home after seeing their news on facebook and WhatsApp – just as I used to in Germany. Nevertheless, there is cause for joy – unlike in Germany, there is still family close enough who I could meet.
• I would go, daily on foot to nearby crowded streets and take photos of the streets and people there
  • Crowds stay at home – they have disappeared from the streets!
  • Camera is in Germany though I thank God that I have a lovely phone that captures beautiful photos …
• Specifically, in Bangalore, I would visit Commercial Street, Jayanagar shopping areas and Chikpet and any other local market, immerse myself in local life in these markets and photograph them
  • I stay at home too most of the time except for essentials to eat and live in a new home
• I would visit several concerts of different artists, travel to hot spots of dance performances, photograph the artists and their dances
  • I still do this. The art scene is even more accessible with Sabhas like Krishna Gana Sabha starting online programs via Aalaap Concepts. Now I can access live programs from MOMA in New York and Arushi Mudgal or Sawani Mudgal in India with the same ease. I get the added bonus of seeing homes of artists and copying the ideas for decor.
• I would find unknown art forms (many of the earlier unknown art forms have found several patrons and hence become well known) and photograph those before they are discovered – perhaps they get discovered because of me…
  • Similar to artists of performing arts, other artists also have started becoming online friendly – desk window shopping is now a hobby
• I would travel to remotest corners in India, and see how life is there
  • Pending….
• I would find hidden rural areas where I would shadow the panchayat or women
  • Pending….
• … and many more.

11-th of March, 3 months after the things were packed, we followed the developments closely in India. We had come for two weeks on March 8-th and were expected to return on March 22-nd night to Germany to wrap up everything there.

We discussed the fast changing situation due to Corona and decided to advance the ticket from 23-rd early morning to 16-th March. On 13-th afternoon, we received the information that our flight on 16-th March was cancelled and we had been rebooked on 14-th early morning flight back. This would mean that we needed to leave that evening. The way things were moving, we had no clue whether we would be able to come back. The choice was between:

• get stuck in our old life in Germany or
• get stuck in our new life in India with the expectation we would be able to go back to Germany mid April to wrap up everything.

It is now 8 weeks since that happened. India stopped Visaless entry for holders of OCI (Overseas Citizens of India) cards. India went into a day of curfew followed by 21 days of lockdown that was extended. On 8-th of March, the day we landed in India, we had found an apartment we would like to move into. As we worked on the contract and other nitty gritties, the lockdown descended on us. We got 8 weeks to bond as a family together.

So, here we are, 5 months after the things were put into storage, sitting in our empty rental home we moved into last Sunday, collecting the documents for the customs to be reunited with familiar things that can help make this home a home.

We are holding, in our hands, the list of things we had sent to Germany 19.5 years ago to prove that microwave and Sumeet mixie were taken from India.

In the meantime, my camera continues stuck at home in Heidelberg.